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Recession Rags

In tough times, only the resourceful make it, like Depression-era Americans surviving on boiled dandelions, or Marion Barry, surviving on boiled dandelions also. Getting resourceful with shorts, Recession Rags.Just arrived in DC, Rags whips up smartly proportioned, sharp looking "short pants" cut entirely from forgotten fabric found in Brooklyn warehouses and up "unmarked staircases in Manhattan's Garment District" (presumably those not already occupied by illegal dice games). There are 25 styles in all, ranging from formal-ish, subtle grey pinstripes in light-weight wool, to casual plaid numbers from the cloth of a now-defunct American mill, to a gabardine job that will "add some color to any outfit" (that involves shorts), to a blue-green pair cut from fabric known to produce a noticeable "crinkle effect", hopefully diverting attention from your noticeable cankle effect. Because shirtlessness can cost you friends, Rags has also released a line of tees inspired by Depression-era propaganda posters, bearing slogans like the "Eat Fruit, Be Healthy" (w/ stenciled grapes & oranges), "Work Promotes Confidence" (around a hammer-wielding laborer), and "Milk: For Summer Thirst" -- which, given said friends' tendency to quote Anchorman, will be a bad choice.To complete your outfit, Rags has come up with a line of eight distinct suspenders (standard black, checkered, purple plaid...), all intended to be slung around the hips Newsies-style -- putting you at risk of your shorts dropping, and everyone laughing at your Barries.