Lots of things should be dirty: Jokes. The words that involuntarily burst out of your mouth during sex, sometimes arousing your partner and sometimes totally confusing both of you. Oh, and Old Bastards. Old Bastards should pretty much always be dirty.
One thing that shouldn’t be: your apartment. Instead of cleaning it yourself, use and abuse Handybook. Just hit them up by computer or phone and they’ll book you a same-day appointment with an insured, background-checked professional in under 90 seconds, even faster than you [insert joke about other involuntary bursts here].
Even better, schedule a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly cleaning now and Handybook will give you the first one at the reasonable rate of entirely free. So even if you tell Handybook “Baby, I got your money”, they won’t take it -- in every way possible, you’ll be cleaning up.