Fancy gym workouts that produce dinner-roll biceps to the thump of Ace of Base might give you the illusion of beastliness, but what good are they if you still can't handle an angry drunk, or dodge an angry bus? For primitively practical fitness, check out Garage Workout
A collaboration between a DJ-turned-trainer and a long-time fitness maven, GW provides a barest-bones facility for clients craving an old-school functional workout that incorporates explosive power movements into a cardio scenario (think lunges between laps, not that scene in Jackass). The space, a concrete ex-garage, has been stripped of all machines, and loaded up with raw fitness tools both classic (bench, squat rack, dumbbells, heavy bag for both boxing and MMA pounding) and gym class-ic (pull up bar, climbing rope). Turning back the clock to a time before "fitness" are junkyard-style routines like smashing a sand-filled basketball furiously into the ground again and again, sledgehammering a heavy tire, or flipping that tire end over end as if you're too primitive to conceptualize the wheel
To pair your primal fitness with primal beats, GW uses DJ software and an epic music collection to craft a custom, tempo-appropriate soundtrack -- a welcome break in your life soundtrack of "Those are my CornNuts" and the thud of a bus against your uselessly puffed up lats.