Handwritten cards let the special people in your life know you haven't forgotten them, even if you're working on it. Embrace neglect while priming the Grandma b-day check pump, with Jack Cards
Jack's a service that'll send you ready-to-mail greeting cards for any event, which you then Hancock and re-send -- making you look like a lovable champ for supposedly going to CVS. Just enter the lucky sucker's name, address, birthday, relevant holidays, and dates of other card-worthy occasions, from anniversaries to graduations; they even offer "Sorry" cards, for the week after missing an anniversary/graduation. At a pre-set time before the event, you'll receive pre-stamped, addressed cards; all that's left is for you to scrawl something sentimentally passive-aggressive, pop 'em the back in the post, then go back to writing that poem about your hair
As for card style, you can choose "cards with adult humor", but beyond "Endangered Feces" and "Happy F*ing B-Day", even these are fairly tame -- though if you made a habit of sending dudes-in-things and saggy racks, the special people in your life would look for a website to help them forget you.