Birds of a Feather

Washington DC

$$$$

PERMANENTLY CLOSED

It feels like you’re stepping onto a ship when you cross the threshold of this Scotch bar that could very well serve as a museum of the single-malt spirit. Consult a laminated Excel spreadsheet of 130 Scotches, color-coded by region, to pick your pour. If regions don’t do it for you, look for red text symbolizing that you’d like to get spanked with peat. The nautically appointed bar looks like a visit to an eclectic uncle’s house, with its crackling fireplace and worn couches. Just don’t expect any mood-lighting in the cozy back room, nor a bartender who fawns over customers. Drinking is serious business here; so for the love of god (or Ron Burgundy), don’t request anything "on the rocks." Pro-tip: Lure owner Alicia Horn into telling you stories -- she’s been at this for decades.