10 Brilliantly Simple Ways To Sneak Booze On To The Beach
It's vacation season, and millions of you will be flocking to the beach to enjoy the warm sun, cool ocean, and excessively competitive volleyball matches. You'll also have to deal with shrieking kids, sand, and jellyfish, the aquatic reminder that monsters are real and want to mess with you. A little booze would make it all much easier to handle, but, sadly, many beaches don't allow it.
Thankfully, security at the shore ain't exactly the Secret Service. With little effort, you can successfully sneak alcohol along with you, and enjoy it without drawing unwanted attention.
DISCLAIMER: We accept no responsibility if you get caught, kicked out, or lose that volleyball game due to intoxication. Enjoy.
1. Alcoholic ice snacks
No, it's not easy to make real alcoholic ice cubes without the aid of liquid nitrogen or Mr. Freeze. You can, however, create ice cube-esque concoctions by mixing equal parts low proof alcohol and water, then sticking them in an ice tray (stainless steel works best) and leaving them in the freezer for at least four hours. The result will be a slushy type drink, but this can easily be hidden in your cooler and passed off as a homemade dessert, especially if you add any coloring to it.
2. Binocular flask
There's an entire industry dedicated to getting you drunk illegally. Products like this binocular flask are a good call for the beach, letting you conceal up to 16 ounces of liquor in its two compartments. Looks like real binoculars, and, after enough time, will distort your vision, sort of like real binoculars.
3. Water bottle magic
In this video, we learn a simple way to remove the cap from a bottle of water without breaking the seal that hyper-vigilant sobriety enforcers love to check. Just cut the top off a "sacrifice bottle," soak it in boiling water for a few seconds, then (dude, carefully) pry the cap off. If you did it right, it should come off with the seal intact. Then you just open another water bottle, empty its non-alcoholic contents, fill it up with clear booze, place your magic cap on, and enjoy.
We won't judge if you pretend you're Walter White during this procedure.
4. Water bottle caps
Not in the mood for any excessive prep work? These caps exist specifically to help you get your drinks past security. They fit typical water bottles and make it appear as though the bottle has never been opened. Clear alcohol, bottled water, one of these, and you're all set.
5. Spiked fruit
Smuggling booze onto the beach is easy if you're bringing snacks. Get a cooking syringe, citrus fruit (oranges work best) and inject your alcohol right in there. Make sure you evenly distribute the liquor across as much of the orange as possible. And try not to be tempted to use this trick to sneak booze into your office lunch. Alcoholic oranges are a "sometimes snack."
6. Infused Otter Pops
Whether you called them Otter Pops, Fla-Vor-Ice, or Diabetes Bombs (just us?), these things were staples of a summer childhood. As an adult, they can come in handy too. Using that syringe, poke a hole in the top and remove some of the liquid, then inject your liquor of choice, tape over the hole, shake it up if you want to mix the booze well, and toss it in the freezer. This trick also works with juice boxes. Just don't mistakenly serve them to any kids.
7. Mouthwash bottle shot
Just want a shot or two to make your beverage of choice a little boozier? Clear alcohol, food dye, and an empty mouthwash bottle —preferably a travel-sized one so as not to draw too much suspicion—and you're all set. Just make sure you clean that bottle out well first, or your drink will taste like the world's worst Mint Julep.
8. Spray bottles
Empty spray bottles are cheap, easy-to-find, and not something anyone will be looking for when they check you for contraband. Pick one or two up and fill them with your liquor of choice. Worried that no one will buy your cover story? Get some smaller, perfume-sized ones. They're easy to miss and won't look suspicious.
9. Pocket Shots
The people at Pocket Shot can't tell you that their product is perfect for sneaking a little liquor cabinet on to the beach, but we don't work there, so we're going to tell you that it is. These tiny packages of alcohol (with flavors like vodka, whiskey, rum, and tequila) can be hidden in wallets, bags, and perhaps even pockets. Wonders never cease.
10. Sunscreen flask
Go to the beach without sunscreen and you'll regret it the next day. Go to the beach without booze and you'll regret it immediately. This flask, disguised as a sunscreen bottle, solves that problem.
But yeah, don't forget the actual sunscreen either.
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