10 Vices of the Future, According to Hollywood

Guys, the future looks pretty bleak. According to Hollywood, we're all going to be doomed by 2020. With a futuristic landscape plagued by wayward robots, evil corporations, and insufferable computers, people are going to be as self-destructive as ever. So here are 10 vices from futuristic movies that are a pretty stark reminder that we're all pretty f**ked no matter what. 

1. Psychedelic eyedrops

Year: 2044
Appeal: None. Does anyone actually enjoy putting drops in their eyes? Hell no. 

2Sex with murder-prone robot babes

Movie: Westworld 
Year: Unspecified 
Appeal: Been there. Done that

3. Milk that's mixed with an ass-ton of drugs

Movie: A Clockwork Orange
Year: 1995
Appeal: Lots. Milk is delicious. Milk that'll f**k you up and inspire you to steal a Durango '95? Double delicious. 

4. A drug called "Nuke"

Movie:RoboCop 2
Year: The not-too-distant future
Appeal: It's probably smart to stay away from a drug that would warrant a visit from RoboCop. 

5. A virtual coma where you can live out your fantasies and bang Penélope Cruz

Movie: Vanilla Sky 
Year: 2089
Appeal: Go into a coma for 100 years to bang Penélope Cruz? Shut up and take my money! 

6. A touching relationship with a smoking hot operating system

Movie: Her
Year: 2025
Appeal: Scarlett Johansson's voice could give a dog a bone. 

7. A Starbucks that serves coffee with a side of hand-jobs

Movie: Idiocracy 
Year: 2505
Appeal: Doesn't this already exist in Amsterdam?

8. A giant orb that makes you feel awesome

Movie: Sleeper
Year: 2173
Appeal: Come on, look how much fun that Nazi dude is having!

9. Interstellar vacations at Fhloston Paradise

Movie: The Fifth Element
Year: 2263
Appeal: Two words: Ruby Rhod. 

10. Soylent Green

Movie:Soylent Green
Year: 2022
Appeal: SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! But seriously, it's made from people. 

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and honestly didn't realize Soylent Green was people until he ate, like, two bags.