Don't get us wrong — we know that the best part of any beer bottle is what's on the inside. But we're huge fans of Denmark's Evil Twinbrewery, which takes their beers to the next level with their superior label designs and uncanny ability to give each bottle a unique name that haunts our dreams at night. Not in a bad way, though.
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Name: Imperial Doughnut Break ABV: 11.5% Regular doughnut breaks? Boring... but an imperial doughnut break? Legendary.
Name: P.H.A.T. Porter ABV: 6% Does anyone else see a Cosby sweater in this label?
Name: Spicy Nachos ABV: 5.5% This label is actually made up of tiny little nacho-lookin' triangles. Genius!
Name: Even More Jesus ABV: 12% Because there's only one thing out there that can trump one singular Jesus.
Name: Wet Dream ABV: 6% The little blue triangles look like tears... or, you know, some other kind of liquid.
Name: Disco Beer ABV: 10.5% Can't you see yourself sipping this in a humid club in the summer 1977?
Name: Molotov Cocktail ABV: 13% Bold and fiery — shockingly similar to the ingredients of a real-life Molotov cocktail.
Name: Joey Pepper ABV: 7% Who is Joey Pepper? Evil Twin describes him as a man with "extreme commitment, laser focus and contagious behavior."
Name: Been Smoking Too Long ABV: 8.9% You can almost see an emaciated kitty cat clinging to dear life underneath.
Name: Christmas Eve At a New York City Hotel Room ABV: 10% Specifically brewed and designed for Mr. Donald Draper.
Name: Ryan And The Gosling ABV: 4% Hey girl, let's split this beer together.
Name: Bozo Beer ABV: 16% Hey, there's nothing silly about a beer that's 16% booze — except maybe how you dance when you've had more than one.
Name: Hello My Name Is Sonja ABV: 8.2% Hi Sonja, I'm thirsty.
Name: Before During and After Christmas Beer ABV: 10% Festive, without the added crutch of Christmas.
With over thirty beer bottles in their repertoire, picking only thirteen was both physically and mentally excruciating. Perhaps more companies will follow suite and start putting a little more creative effort into their brews — here's lookin' at you, boring beer labels.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and his favorite drink is a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.