If there's one person who can get you in the holiday spirit, it's Chevy Chase. Though he might be reviled in many Hollywood circles for treating everyone like a sack of garbage, he is still a God of comedic timing to us viewers. Let's celebrate it. Happy Monday, everyone.
1. "You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts."
2. “I always fly first class. To remind myself.”
3. "You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body."
4. "Marge is a terrible name for a mistress."
5. "A good name for a mistress would be close to a man's name so that nobody would know. Like...Conane."
6. “If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”
7. "Remember Danny—two wrongs don’t make a right but three rights make a left.”
8. "Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an a**hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer."
9. "Billy Murray and I came to fisticuffs, but we never really ended up hitting each other. We tried, but Belushi got in the middle and we both ended up hitting John. And if anybody deserved to be slapped in the forehead it was John, for instigating it all."
10. "I don't think eggs are so filled with cholesterol as people think. The problem comes in with how they're made, the sauces and that kind of stuff. I could be wrong."
11. "All I needed now was a computer. And a 10-year-old kid to teach me how to use it."
12. "I went to college with every intention of being a doctor. I was redirected by my grades. That, and a fake radio show that I improvised with some friends. Wasn't even on the air."
13. “Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy.”
14. "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
15. "No one likes a tattletale, Danny... except of course, me."