Christopher Walken: he's one of Hollywood's wise old men, and like Bill Murray, he's America's uncle. When you read his quotes, make sure you read it in his trademark voice, turning every vowel sound into three vaAh-OW-el sounds.
1. "I don't like driving, I prefer to be driven."
2. "Horses, I do not like."
3. "Somebody said to me that I speak English almost like somebody for whom English is not their first language."
4. "I like cats a lot. I've always liked cats. They're great company. When they eat, they always leave a little bit at the bottom of the bowl. A dog will polish the bowl, but a cat always leaves a little bit. It's like an offering."
5. "My hair was famous before I was."
6. "I grew up listening to people speaking broken English. I probably picked that up."
7. "I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense."
8."I think the fact that I was raised in show business, in New York City, in the '50s, that's affected my personality to the point that I'm a little different."
9. "I've never crashed a wedding. When I was a kid I, of course, used to crash parties. Crashing a wedding is difficult though because you have to have the suit, and you have to have information in case someone catches you. You have to know at least some names and something."
10. "I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. You can't—you can't do that."
11. "I don't need to be made to look evil. I can do that on my own."
12. "I don't like zoos. Awful."
13. "The question mark is originally from an Egyptian hieroglyph that signified a cat walking away. You know, it's the tail. And that symbol meant - well, whatever it is when they're ignoring you."
14. " I don't have a wristwatch either because if I need to know what time it is, I ask somebody."
15. "I asked this girl to go to the prom and she said she would but that she had a boyfriend, an older guy. Then she took out her wallet and showed me a picture of this handsome guy with the hair, the teeth, who looked like a Greek statue. I thought, All right, and then I asked to see it again and said, "This is not a photograph. You cut this out of a magazine." She got farmisht and said, "Yes, you're right, I did. I'm so madly in love with him. His name is Elvis Presley." She went with me to the prom. I had her in a compromising position. That's what you get for lying."
Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor of Supercompressor. He has an B+ Walken impression. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.