Back in the day, Capri Suns were lunchtime essentials just like Gushers, Lunchables, Dunkaroos, and those little bread stick-and-cheese packs that kids always traded for the cracker-and-peanut butter ones. Of all the ways one can pay homage to nostalgia-inducing childhood snacks, the method of "cocktailification" is the best way to show your appreciation for the foods and drinks you grew up with.
Since we're in the business of making things that typically aren't boozy alcoholic, we decided to get our paws on a few pouches of Capri Sun—um, forty actually—and mix them with some choice bottles of liquor. The results were, of course, wonderful, so check these out and try them at home. Tell 'em Jeremy sent ya. Also, don't use my name.
Alright, let's turn these innocent drinks guilty.
This Chinese Festival Is Like 'Frozen' Come to Life
It became immediately apparent that Capri Sun is the ultimate mixer for alcohol—something that never would've never occurred to us as children...though, I'm sure our parents probably knew. Tequila is a double-edged sword, because it goes down so easily. Then you wake up in the morning to all those texts from your girlfriend's dad. Ugh. This was delicious, by the way.
How is this not on the menu of bars across the nation? Jack Daniels is one of the best boozes to cut with juice because it still retains that signature Jack taste (god, I sound like a billboard) and that taste is not lost in the depths of the Capri Sun pouch. Surprisingly light, summer-y, and a wonderful cherry surprise at the end...pending you don't forget and accidentally swallow it whole.
That's a spicy meatball! Ugh, this would go so well with a hearty side of meatballs. For the sugar-lovers out there, you've found your drink. There's that signature candy-like spice from the Hot Tamales and Fireball that stays with you for the entire pouch and mixes nostalgia with some really fun adult feelings.
The John Cusack*
Kiwi Strawberry Capri Sun
Tear open that pouch o'goodness
Pour in some vodka
Use a Twizzler as a straw
Watch High Fidelity
The delicious cherry Twizzler straw really ties this one together. Thanks to the kiwi Capri Sun, the vodka is thrown into the second backseat of your mouth minivan so you can ignore it. It's fruity, delicious, and goes down quickly...which is probably why it's so hard to type right now.
As (arguably) the most adult drink in the brood, The Bombay Sunset could almost be confused with a Tom Collins—save for the addition of a Sour Patch Kid. It's tasty and light, to be reserved for the laziest of Sundays. Try this at home, please.
Jeremy Glass is a staff writer for Supercompressor and wants to make Gak cocktails next. Who's with me?!