5 Capri Sun Cocktails For Grown-Ass Adults

Back in the day, Capri Suns were lunchtime essentials just like Gushers, Lunchables, Dunkaroos, and those little bread stick-and-cheese packs that kids always traded for the cracker-and-peanut butter ones. Of all the ways one can pay homage to nostalgia-inducing childhood snacks, the method of "cocktailification" is the best way to show your appreciation for the foods and drinks you grew up with.

Since we're in the business of making things that typically aren't boozy alcoholic, we decided to get our paws on a few pouches of Capri Sun—um, forty actually—and mix them with some choice bottles of liquor. The results were, of course, wonderful, so check these out and try them at home. Tell 'em Jeremy sent ya. Also, don't use my name. 

Alright, let's turn these innocent drinks guilty.

The Capri Sunrise 

  • Fruit Punch Capri Sun 
  • One bottle of tequila
  • One lime wedge
  • Rock salt
  • Cut open your pouch 
  • Pour in a generous dose of tequila
  • Drop in a pinch of salt 
  • Garnish with lime

Tasting Notes

It became immediately apparent that Capri Sun is the ultimate mixer for alcohol—something that never would've never occurred to us as children...though, I'm sure our parents probably knew. Tequila is a double-edged sword, because it goes down so easily. Then you wake up in the morning to all those texts from your girlfriend's dad. Ugh. This was delicious, by the way.

The Cherry Sunfeld 

  • Wild Cherry Capri Sun
  • Jack Daniels (or Tennessee Fire for spice) 
  • Cherries
  • An orange wedge
  • Cut that sucker open
  • Drop in a cherry
  • Pour in some Jack
  • Garnish with orange

Tasting Notes

How is this not on the menu of bars across the nation? Jack Daniels is one of the best boozes to cut with juice because it still retains that signature Jack taste (god, I sound like a billboard) and that taste is not lost in the depths of the Capri Sun pouch. Surprisingly light, summer-y, and a wonderful cherry surprise at the end...pending you don't forget and accidentally swallow it whole. 

The Capri Sunburn

  • Fruit Punch Capri Sun
  • Fireball
  • Hot Tamales
  • Cut that beast right open
  • Drop in a Hot Tamale
  • Add enough Fireball to kill a small pig

Tasting Notes

That's a spicy meatball! Ugh, this would go so well with a hearty side of meatballs. For the sugar-lovers out there, you've found your drink. There's that signature candy-like spice from the Hot Tamales and Fireball that stays with you for the entire pouch and mixes nostalgia with some really fun adult feelings. 

The John Cusack*

  • Kiwi Strawberry Capri Sun
  • Absolut Vodka
  • Twizzlers
  • Tear open that pouch o'goodness 
  • Pour in some vodka
  • Use a Twizzler as a straw
  • Watch High Fidelity

Tasting Notes

The delicious cherry Twizzler straw really ties this one together. Thanks to the kiwi Capri Sun, the vodka is thrown into the second backseat of your mouth minivan so you can ignore it. It's fruity, delicious, and goes down quickly...which is probably why it's so hard to type right now. 

The Bombay Sunset

  • Fruit Punch Capri Sun
  • Bombay Dry Gin
  • Sour Patch Kid
  • Cut the head of your Capri Sun
  • Drop in a Sour Patch Kid
  • Fill with gin
  • Garnish with lemon

Tasting Notes

As (arguably) the most adult drink in the brood, The Bombay Sunset could almost be confused with a Tom Collins—save for the addition of a Sour Patch Kid. It's tasty and light, to be reserved for the laziest of Sundays. Try this at home, please.

Jeremy Glass is a staff writer for Supercompressor and wants to make Gak cocktails next. Who's with me?!

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