14 Caffeinated Products You Don't Have To Drink

Published On 03/02/2015 Published On 03/02/2015

Coffee is pretty much the lifeblood of the American workforce. Many people can't get out of bed in the morning without the drool-inducing carrot of a fresh cup of joe, or perhaps more importantly, its dependency-forming caffeine fix.

But if, for some inexplicable reason, you choose to abandon your daily brew, you'll have these 14 back up plans to jump start your morning. 


1. Jolt Energy Gum

Price: $17
Your pocket-sized energy fix that you won’t spill all over your khakis on the way to work. 


2. CoffeeBar 

Price: $3
Why drink your coffee when you can eat it? Each bar is equivalent to one cup of coffee, and is actually chock full of nuts.


3. Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap

Price: $7
Maybe it’s the tingly peppermint oil or the caffeine anhydrous, but either way, Shower Shock will give you an extra boost of morning energy when you lather up.

Pacific Shaving Co

4. Caffeinated Shaving Cream

Price: $16
Caffeine is naturally rich in antioxidants, so don’t deprive your face of their redness reducing and soothing effects. 


5. Caffeinated Mints

Price: $31
They invigorate your morning and fix your dreaded coffee breath in one fell swoop.


6. SumSeeds Energized Sunflower Seeds

Price: $1
You’d have to eat the whole bag to get a cup’s worth of joe, but on the bright side they come in Honey BBQ flavor.


7. Logona Deodorant 

Price: $15
It’s unclear just how much caffeine you can absorb through your armpits alone, but damnit this is America and it’s our right to die trying.

Jelly Belly

8. Extreme Sport Beans® Jelly Beans

Price: $25
Et tu, Jelly Belly? A serving of these cherry flavored candies is about half a cup of coffee. Pro cycling teams use them too.


9. Passion Natural Caffeinated Energy Lubricant

Price: $13
Amp up your junk so you can shred in bed.


10. Natrol High Caffeine 200mg Tablets

Price: $6
We’re not so sure just how “natrol” this high is, but each tablet will give you the jolt of two cups of joe. Just please don’t go all Jessie Spano on us. 

Perky Jerky

11. Perky Jerky

Price: $30
Packed with protein and pep, Perky Jerky comes in both beef and turkey options, for the health-conscious caffeine addict.


12. Aerolife Caffeine Inhaler

Price: $30
This little guy has raised eyebrows from the FDA, so proceed with caution if you’re looking to puff your caffeine via inhaler.


13. PowerBar PowerGel Double Caffeine Gel

Price: $25
A staple for serious bikers and runners, this gel substitute helps you power through without preservatives or artificial flavors, helping you absorb the carbs faster than solids. Caffeine is also proven to improve aerobic ability.

Spot on energy

14. Spot On Energy Patch

Price: $11
Lead such a hectic lifestyle that you only have time to absorb caffeine via osmosis? You should probably reassess your choices, and then consider an energy patch to get your fix for five hours of steady caffeine release.

Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. She is currently tweaking out on one cup of coffee. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.



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