Bacon Condoms Let You Stick Your Meat in Meat
The recent bacon boom has left us with some awesome stuff: Tactical bacon. Portable bacon. Maple bacon coffee. Maple bacon coffee beer. Bacon deodorant (which was actually odorant). A bacon-powered motorcycle. Spreadable bacon. The list of porcine-related goodness goes on et cetra, but never ad nauseam, because it is scientifically impossible for bacon to make anyone nauseous.
Looking back over the best of the bacon boom with a little distance, it's pretty clear that history will always remember one in particular:
The bacon condom to trump them all.
Nothing can possibly compare to the bacon condom. Essentially a flavored condom, the fact that this product was basically unusable—imagine the overpowering cocktail of natural scents plus this bacon-perfume—didn't affect sales whatsoever. It is still sold out, and difficult to obtain.
The bacon condom wins by default. It was a product that magically gave the verb "to pork" true meaning. Is it even possible for something to top that?
We reached out to J&D's, the brain trust behind this operation to find out whether they would be bringing the bacon condom back into stock. Stay tuned.
Until it's back, you can tide yourself over with some bacon sunscreen.