You can actually make an impact on the world by spending five hundred bucks on The Executive Set, a pair of 18-karat gold freakin' whiskey chillers. Put your drinks down and open up your hearts—because 80 percent of your purchase will go to the MD Anderson Cancer Center for testicular cancer research. You heard it right: putting these balls in your cup will save the balls in your pants.
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With only 25 sets made, it's guaranteed that each one gets the VIP treatment with the utmost care and finesse. A long and careful process of gold plating gives these 18-K balls a finish that's mesmerizing and drool-worthy.
Throw away your ice cubes, guys; just melt those suckers down and forget freezing points were ever a thing.
There's actually a lot more to these whiskey chillers than the decadent golden coating—these balls have brains. Arctic Core technology keeps your whiskey at the perfect sipping temperature, so you can enjoy the taste of your booze along with the incredible view in your hand.
The Executive Set is presented within a handsome, handcrafted alder wood box from the heart of Colorado and is guaranteed to zap the cancer right out of any nearby testicles. That last part is a lie, but it'd sure would be convenient, huh?
Jeremy Glass is the balls-to-the-wall Vice editor for Supercompressor and will be enjoying his lengthy stay in hell after all those testicle jokes.