Considering the fact that you don't have to leave your couch to get Chinese food or even put your iPad down to get laid, it's safe to say that the world is getting scarily more convenient with each passing day. Delivery apps are a dime a dozen, but it should come as no surprise that our favorite variety are the ones that bring you instantaneous booze.
In keeping with our huge appreciation for all things tech (and liquor), we decided to hold the ultimate competition to find out which booze delivery app was the fastest. So we ordered three bottles of Buffalo Trace Bourbon at the exact same time—12:00 p.m.—set our timers, and waited.
These are the results.
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FIRST PLACE: MINIBAR - 06:15
We're continually blown away by the speed of Minibar. It took them no more than six minutes and fifteen seconds to get a bottle of whiskey into our hands. Plus, these guys are now selling ice, beer, and ping pong balls on their site. And they asked for my ID! Those responsible booze-peddlers know what they're doing. We all suspect the delivery dude was in high school, though. Just kidding maybe?
SECOND PLACE: DRIZLY - 11:00
Eleven minutes after the order was placed, Drizly trounced up to our offices to deliver the hard-earned bottle of bourbon. No fuss, nothing to sign, just a wonderful gentleman who definitely had no idea how to react to the Vine video I was shooting. Well done, friends.
THIRD PLACE: THIRSTIE - 12:33
At 12 minutes and 33 seconds, Thirstie secured the bronze medal when they handed me a big ol' bottle of Buffalo Trace. On the upside, the delivery dude was rocking a pair of reflective sunglasses that allowed me to see the excited expression on my own face. Third place at 12 minutes is still something to be proud of—it often takes 12 minutes for the average person to decide on what they want to drink.
Good looks to Buffalo Trace for inadvertently playing a huge role in our awesome little competition. Who's getting drunk tonight? THESE GUYS. Meaning us. Supercompressor. Go team.
Editor's Note: Upon finishing this experiment, our editorial assistant's bank froze her credit card due to an excess of alcohol-delivery app registrations. She has no regrets.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and is a great writer. If you don't believe him, check the text messages from his parents.