Retrace Your Steps After Blacking Out With This App

There are some valuable hangover cures out there to alleviate the physical pain of a botched night out—Drinkwel for when the night ends late, and DripDrop for a headache that feels like your eyeballs are getting stomped.

On the other hand, everyone knows that physical discomfort is only half the battle when fighting a bad hangover—the other half is piecing together where your night went wrong. New from the App store—purveyors of Tinder, Instagram, and the occasional smut, comes Drunk Mode, a genius app that works with your phone to make sure every intoxicated decision you make is the right one. 

Here's how it works: Drunk Mode tackles the three D's that always happen when you drink too much: Dialing, Diverging, and Dubiety. 

Drunk Mode enables your phone to hide blocked contacts, whom you shouldn't be texting anyway, for up to 12 hours and ensures you won't be able to bypass the app by presenting a difficult math problem that even Matt Damon couldn't solve. 

To find the friends that you always lose during a night out, you can trace your inebriated bros, brehs and brahs, via GPS. 

Finally, this app solves that age-old question that all heavy drinkers ask: what the hell did I do last night? A feature called "Breadcrumbs" pinpoints exactly where you went the night before and, hopefully, the bar where your credit card is hiding.  

While the wonderful features of Drunk Mode could technically be avoided through exercising restraint while drinking, the programmers behind this app know their audience well and realize that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who go hard and little wussy baby losers. 

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and likes throwing rocks at trains and getting wrapped up in murder mysteries.