Meet "Drunk Shopping," The Service that Tells You To Buy Stuff At 2 a.m.
In one of the most important developments in recent Internet history, Drunk Shopping is here to tell your drunk self to buy everything you never knew you needed every Saturday night while you wait for your Uber to take you home from the bar.
Here's how it works: every Saturday night (or Sunday morning if you're boring) at 2 a.m. you receive a text from Drunk Shopping with a link to some of the best stuff available for purchase on the Internet. And unlike other texts you might receive around that time of night, this message can only lead to great things, i.e. buying yourself a Nessie Ladle.
I know what you're thinking now, and I agree—it does sound like an ultra-exclusive club, probably with the type of initiation rites and membership dues whole '90s teen movie plots could center around. It must take a lot to get in on this.
There is a specific process to gain membership to Drunk Shopping, but I promise you can do it. Just text "heyyyyyy" to 551-333-7865, and you'll be added to the list. Just remember, that's 6 ys in that "heyyyyyy." You mean business here.
If you get tired of buying all of the awesome things, you can unsubscribe by texting "STOP" back to the same number. But who would ever want to do that?
Here's to hoping your sober self likes to be surprised by awesome stuff. Happy shopping!
Brett Williams is an editorial assistant at Supercompressor who is looking forward to owning a Nic Cage shirt by next Wednesday.