How does that saying go? "It's simultaneously five o'clock and flu season somewhere!" Okay, maybe we invented that, but that doesn't make it any less true. Enter Emergen-C cocktails—the only way to conquer sickness and sobriety at the same time.
Vitamin C + Vitamin A(lcohol) = killing two birds with one delicious, boozy stone.
The Mint Fuel-Up
Ingredients: Russel's Reserve 10-Year-Old Bourbon, Mint, Lemon-Lime Emergen-C
It'll cure what ails ya. Cool, refreshing, zesty, an adequate reason to speak with an old-timey Southern accent while wearing a white suit. The mint makes for a delightful garnish but probably shouldn't be eaten on its own.
The Flu Shot
Ingredients: Jose Cuervo, Lemon-Lime Emergen-C
If you like downing cold medicine as much as the next person, you're going to love the aptly-named Flu Shot. It's an easy way to shower your system with vitamins before the tequila sucks it right back out!
Ingredients: Folonari Chianti, Black Cherry Emergen-C
With high antioxidant levels in both Chianti and Black Cherry Emergen-C, this cocktail will satisfy your indiscriminate mouthfeel while keeping your body safe from all those free radicals. Best sipped through a muzzle.
The Cold Fashioned
Ingredients: Russell's Reserve 10-Year-Old Bourbon, Super Orange Emergen-C
The bold taste of Russell's Reserve easily overpowers the off-brand Kool-Aid taste of the Super Orange Emergen-C and gives you the strength to bust through walls—just like the Kool-Aid man!
Ingredients: D'USSÉ Cognac, Super Orange Emergen-C
Our take on the Sidecar involves Jay Z's special brand of cognac which, we assume, was produced by Kanye and infused with liquid cash and essence of Beyonce.
The Quad-Berry Fixer Upper
Ingredients: Aylesbury Duck Vodka, Triple Berry Emergen-C, Cranberry-Pomegranate Emergen-C
By mixing four different kinds of life-saving powdered fruits with vodka, a Franken-cocktail was created that tastes exactly how it looks: perplexing and disorienting.
Sick On The Beach
Ingredients: Aylesbury Duck Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Tropical Emergen-C, Super Orange Emergen-C
Like your typical Sex on the Beach, this drink has the same eerie medicinal taste with the added benefit of Vitamin C and mouth-watering Riboflavin.
The Fever Dream
Ingredients: Jim Beam Jacob's Ghost White Whiskey, Ubon's Bloody Mary Mix, Cayenne Pepper, Pink Lemonade Emergen-C
Clearly the boldest cocktail of the brood, the Fever Dream's cayenne pepper/Pink Lemonade Emergen-C rim kicks you in the face, while the Jacob's Ghost/Bloody Mary base helps you forget that you've been bed-ridden for days.
Ingredients: José Cuervo, Raspberry Emergen-C, Lemon-Lime Emergen-C
Not pictured: sombreros, parasol, streamers, or piñata filled with Band-aids.
The Snot Toddy
Ingredients: Russell's Reserve 10-Year-Old Bourbon, Lemon-Lime Emergen-C, Honey, Hot Water
We'll be the first to admit the the Snot Toddy tastes far better than it sounds—maybe it's because this cocktail isn't the unholy bastard concoction the prior recipes happen to be. The hot water clears the sinuses, while the bourbon gives you a reason to smile. Everybody dance now!
The Vom Collins
Ingredients: Aviation American Gin, Triple Berry Emergen-C
Delicious pun aside, our sickly take on the Tom Collins evokes feelings of relaxation and happiness, coupled with confusion and—eventually—acceptance.
Long Island Emergen-Tea
Ingredients: Aylesbury Duck Vodka, José Cuervo, Blackwell Rum, Montezuma Triple Sec, Tropical Emergen-C, Cranberry-Pomegranate Emergen-C, Raspberry Emergen-C, Pink Lemonade Emergen-C, Lemon-Line Emergen-C, Triple Berry Emergen-C
With a list of ingredients about as long as those in a bag of Doritos, all we have to offer with the Long Island Emergen-Tea is a warning: drink responsibly-ish.