Lifestyle

Someone Made A Fake Baby You Can Drink Out Of

Oh, Kickstarter, you're a hotbed of bad ideas and expensive potato salad! Unveiled this week, just a cool $60k short of its $70,000 goal is The Cool Baby—a customizable, hands-free booze insulator that looks like a tiny little baby human. Everybody pack up your sh*t and go home; you've all received a lethal dose of Internet. 

Conceived by comedian/(m)ad man, Simon Phillon, this ridiculous (albeit ingenious) flask has the all makings of a classic Internet hoax—but that doesn't mean it's not worth backing. Think of all the movie theaters you could sneak this bad Larry into!

When I reached out to Phillion for a comment, he assured me, "The Cool Baby is extremely real. The world needs a more adorable, convenient, fulfilling place to house their 36 oz beverages. I think that place could be the inside of a front-mounted, temperature-insulating, fake baby. I think that place could be The Cool Baby."

For those irked by the caucasian looks of this faux-child, Phillon ensures his backers on Kickstarter that he'll "have all different kinds of baby races, baby dispositions, baby sexual orientations, and baby IQ's. Sky's the limit." 

The baby's torso is formed from a Polyurethane foam, while the 36-ounce internal drink container is made with BPA-free Polypropylene—you know, to keep your booze safe. 

Thank you, Internet, we praise your tentacles full of information.


Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and hopes to father a child who's naturally filled to the brim with whiskey.