Take a seat and draw the curtains, kids. We've got some explaining to do.
You know that awesome Instagram account, FloridaManIllustrated, that we recently wrote up and have been pimpin' like Harvey Keitel and Jodie Foster inTaxi Driver? It was us all along. Also, your mother and I are getting divorced. But yeah: ever since we discovered the killer Twitter account, @_FloridaMan, we felt that more could be brought to the story. If you haven't checked out the account yet, drop everything and do it now, but, here's the CliffsNotes version: the best true news stories taken from Florida and summarized in one killer headline...like this one: "Florida Man Claims He Caught 'Testicle-Eating' Fish."
Amazing, right? Well, with the help of local artist, Emily Niland, we've pumped some life into these headlines by illustrating them—thereby creating Instagram's worst superhero.
Lordy, we've got it all:
"Florida Man Says He's Wife Swapping For Jesus"
"Florida Man Leans Against Fence At Drug Kingpin's Animal Sanctuary, Has Thumb Bitten Off By Tiger"
"Florida Man Goes On Breast Milk Pump Robbing Spree"
So, if you've got good taste and are not a philistine, we highly suggest you follow our very own bastard-child Instagram account and give thanks to Florida for being the kind of state that...actually allows this kind of behavior to happen. Ugh, Florida and trouble are like peas and carrots—still a better love story that Twilight.