The 10 Hottest Cartoon Characters From TV History
We may be living in the golden age of cartoon comedies. For those lucky and cool enough to be born in the '80s, we've had the chance to grow up on incredible cartoons like The Simpsons, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Daria. Now we're all grown-up as f*ck and still able to enjoy brilliant shows like Archer, Bob's Burgers, and Family Guy—the laughs flow like wine and each show contains every straight male's kryptonite: hot babes.
We took a dive into history and ranked the 10 hottest female characters from television. This list goes back to the 1930s and is ranked with a very subjective eye, so you're going to get a heaping dose of nostalgia and emotions—literally the building blocks of the Internet.
[Editor's Note: Let it be known that both Jessica Rabbit and Lola Bunny would have tied for the number one spot if this list extended to film. They are, by far, the hottest female cartoons in the world.]
10. Jane Jetson (The Jetsons)
Admittedly, there's something inherently wrong about having a crush on a character like Jane Jetson. She was every man's dream woman...back in 1962. She couldn't drive, didn't have a job, and she was actually kind of a nag. But damn the man and their sexist stereotypes—it's 2014 and this list is strictly based on one attribute: raw external beauty. Jane Jetson = MILF.
9. Daria Morgendorffer (Daria)
So dark, so depressed, so full of angst. Technically a high schooler, so we won't get too gross with this one. Daria was a beacon of light for angry teenagers and a total fox—regardless of her monotone voice and constantly skeptical eyes.
8. Sandy Cheeks (SpongeBob SquarePants)
We seriously can't be the only people on Earth who've thought about what it'd be like to bring Sandy to the surface, pop that helmet off, and go to town on her hot squirrel bod. Wow, that just...felt way weird to type out.
7. Harley Quinn (Batman: The Animated Series)
Everybody had complicated feelings about Harley Quinn during Batman's short two-season run. She was The Joker's most misunderstood goon and all we would've let her poison Gotham City's water supply just for the chance to smell her hair.
6. Betty Boop
To us, she may just look like a cutie in a small dress—but back in the 1930s, Betty Boop's appearance was as close to pornography as Americans could get in a public setting. She has that perfect figure that all men want in a woman—a tiny body and a disproportionately gigantic head that would literally make you topple over in real life.
5. Lois Griffin (Family Guy)
A woman who can take care of three kids (including a homicidal baby), one husband, and a talking dog? Gold. A woman who can do all of that with a sassy Long Island accent? Perfect.
4. Linda Belcher (Bob's Burgers)
As the most life-like cartoon character on this list (i.e. not a mutant or a talking animal) Linda Belcher has that same, old-fashioned MILF appeal that your best friend's mom had when you were both in middle school. She sings and dances and yells a lot, but she's got it going on.
3. Lana Kane (Archer)
Lana. LANA. LANAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Regardless of her huge, manly hands, Lana Kane is foxy, dangerous, and the proud owner of a vulva that's reportedly "smoother than a veal cutlet." Lana's the type of total babe that'll ruin your life if you do as little as mutter the name "Kenny Loggins." We all want to get into her danger zone.
2. Turanga Leela (Futurama)
Finally, a one-eyed monster that every man in the galaxy wouldn't mind putting his mouth on. The attraction from Leela comes from her badass 'tude and vast sexy knowledge of martial arts. Neither Fry nor Zapp Brannigan could resist her mutant charm and we're in the same boat.
1. Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)
Is it her maternal sensibilities, slight figure, or tower of tall blue hair that makes Marge Simpson the most attractive cartoon character of all-time? Maybe it's the fact that she's a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets—we haven't forgotten episode 5F18 where she and Homer do the dirty deed in a miniature golf course windmill.