How To Kick Ass When You're Hungover At Work

Published On 03/13/2015 Published On 03/13/2015

You’re at the bar watching bottle after bottle magically disappear without a care in the world. It’s Thursday night baby, and you’re alive. That is until you wake up Friday morning with lethal whiskey breath and a throbbing headache radiating through your skull with 12 minutes to get to work. Everyone’s been down that path, but you can make the road out of Hangover City a littles less treacherous with the following morning after-approved tips.


1. Don’t skip the shower.

You're an animal. You absolutely reek of liquor, and literally everyone will notice. Your co-workers will gladly allow you to walk in 10 minutes later if it means they don’t have to smell stale PBR on your shirt all day.


2. Get military grade reinforcements

DripDrop powder packs three times the sodium and electrolytes as other hangover cures and is even used by US Special Forces to tackle dehydration. This means it’s probably up to the task of getting you through Tom's presentation about employee benefits.


3. Stall for time by offering to get your boss coffee

You’re inevitably going to be late, so ease the blow with a little ass-kissing. About 15 minutes before you know you’re supposed to be in the office, ask the big guy if he wants anything from Starbucks. Even if he or she says no, they’ll appreciate that you asked enough to cut you some slack. Orange Mocha Frappuccinos all around! 


4. Don’t sit on a backward-facing bus or train seat

You're tempting fate. Better to stand than risk getting car sick and ralphing on your fellow commuters.

5. Know when the earliest retail stores open If you’ve got the kind of hangover that comes from waking up in an unfamiliar bed, you’ll need new threads fast. The Gap unlocks their doors at 9am, giving you a quick window to bolt in and buy the cheapest, unassuming shirt you can find so no one is wondering why you haven’t changed in 24 hours.


6. Work standing up

It seems virtually impossible to make the office stop spinning, but standing up and moving around will keep you from falling asleep and raise your energy levels enough to make it to your noon meeting in one piece.

7. Knock out easy tasks first, then hide Showing your face gets you more brownie points than pretending to be “sick” for the third time this month. Come in, tackle some emails and the simplest, most boring things you have to do that day. Then you can spend the rest of the day on the couches Googling "office hangover cures" and telling everyone how great you feel. 


8. Nap smarter

But if you can’t manage to keep your eyes open, have the Emergency Nap Kit handy. It comes with a mattress and plush onesie to promote quick shut-eye in dire situations. Pro-tip: book a conference room for 30mins. You're welcome.

9. Volunteer to go pick up lunch If the fluorescent lighting is searing your eyeballs and the recycled office air is triggering your gag reflex, play the martyr and go pick up lunch for the team. It’ll give you a chance to get some fresh air and take a longer break than usual.


10. Load up on protein and pass on the grease

Sometimes the truth hurts, but that bacon, egg, and cheese isn’t doing you any favors. Greasy foods just upset your already non-compliant stomach even further, and carbs can make you crash later. Go for smaller, lighter meals (plain eggs, grilled chicken, crackers) throughout the day that are protein-rich instead.

11. Step into the light All that and you’re still lagging? Try some Vitamin D by soaking in the sun for 15 minutes. It'll boost your energy as well as tan your pale, clammy complexion. 


12. Stock up on Sprite

Believe it or not, clear sodas reduce acetaldehyde levels in your system, which is the enzyme that causes hangovers. So ignore the nutrition labels, and bring on the bubbly.

Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. She was kind of definitely probably maybe hung over when she wrote this. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.



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