I Had Sex On A Casper Mattress. It Was Awesome.
I'm in a very serious long-distance relationship with a cutie who lives halfway across the country. (Real) sex is a rarity in my life, so when it happens, I try to get the most bang for my buck...so to speak. When I was offered to have sex on a bed that's specifically designed for maximum comfort during intercourse, I was like: HECK YES I'LL HAVE SEX ON YOUR BED.
Enter Casper. It's an American-made luxury mattress which utilizes the bounciness of latex with body-contouring memory foam to give you the finest surface for smashing guts since your best friend's bathroom floor during your junior year of college.
Editor's note: In the interest of full disclosure, we should mention that Casper is a Lerer Ventures portfolio company—which has a relationship to Ben Lerer, co-founder and owner of Thrillist.com, which Supercompressor operates with.
So why is Casper so particularly great for intercourse? Well, for starters it's soft—but not too soft. Your body doesn't sink into it, like other memory foam mattresses. This gives you support and bounce and allows for optimal bumping and grinding.
Secondly, there's very little post-coital heat: Casper is made out of a high-performance latex that is specifically designed to keep the body cool. So, you know that feeling of waking up hungover at four in the morning, covered in sweat and other unknown substances? That's a thing of the past...well, at least the sweat part.
What I really appreciate about this company is that they trust their clientele—you can sleep on this thing for 100 days and, if you don't like it, send it back without a hassle. It comes in a small box—about the size of a mini-fridge—and it takes all of four minutes to set up.
Obviously, to accurately report on the Capser, I had to have sex on it. So, on a rare trip back home to the east coast, my girlfriend and I tried it out. Tried it out real good.
With sexy candles lit , my bed adorned with a set of heavenly sheets from Boll & Branch, and Boyz II Men echoing throughout my room, it was time to put the Casper mattress to use. After a fun-filled weekend (lololol) I asked my girlfriend some questions about the experience:
What was different about having le sexy times on my Casper mattress?
What was different? The mattress is ridiculously comfortable. In fact, the second night we used the mattress I fell asleep before you even came to bed. However, the first night...that was great. I think the foam allowed us to really relax and be comfortable and get...a little more comfortable.
Was it fun?
It was absolutely fun. You definitely did some things that you'd been texting me about wanting to do, and I liked it.
Would you do it again?
Would I have sex in your bed again? Come on, babe.
Will you continue dating me?
For now, or until some other stud woos me with a better mattress.
Note: The girl in the photo is not my girlfriend. I have no idea who she is. I bet her name is Joan...or Sadie.
This mattress is light, easy to manage, and ridiculously comfortable. Admittedly, I am one to use hyperbolic language: but I could have died in that bed. I've never had a more comfortable sleep. I plan to die in this bed. Thank you for the beautiful white coffin, Casper.