Good news, everybody! It turns out you can still get hammered with powdered alcohol. Sort of. Spike Your Juiceis an aptly-named home-distilling kit that includes everything you need to make homemade booze from the comfort of your own home. Developed by a group of Europeans living in southern California, the inspiration for the project was an insatiable craving for the German seasonal drink called Federweißer. Each kit includes an airlock, stopper, and packets of yeast to turn your drink into draaaaaaank.
The process is incredibly easy. First, buy a bottle of juice. You want to find a juice brand with as much sugar as possible; it aids the fermenting process and produces a higher proof concoction. The website suggests finding a juice bottle with 20 grams of sugar per serving.
Pour the packet into the bottle. The contents include yeast, evaporated cane juice, and emulsifier—basically everything you need to give your drink a kick. Fill water to the airlock's fill-line and seal the bottle with the airlock and rubber stopper. But be careful, if you seal the bottle completely, it could explode. (Yes, that may seem confusing given they use the word "airlock," but just roll with it, okay?)
Store the bottle at room temperature for two days and watch as your boring bottle of juice becomes spiked. The metabolic process converts the sugar to alcohol and leaves you with a 4 - 14% ABV drink, which should make you good and tipsy.
Familiar and non-threatening, like a box of Franzia or a newborn grizzly bear. More specifically, it was as if someone poured a bottle of merlot into a container of cranberry juice. It tasted just how you might guess: sweet and vaguely alcoholic.
Oh god, delicious. Without a doubt the best homemade alcoholic endeavor I've ever done, and I've done my fair share of home brewing. My batch (lovingly called, "Fizzurp") had a sweet grape body with a slightly sour finish. It went down easier than wine and, while low in alcohol content, delivered a solid buzz straight to the dome.
So there you have it. Powdered alcohol exists, but it requires a little bit of chemistry to get off the ground. Fermentation is a shockingly easy process that has been utilized for centuries and all it took was a couple of thirsty Europeans to get it into the hands of Americans. Thank you, Europe, for letting us have nice things.