Listen, kids, some substances are best taken the way nature intended. If you want to drink booze, order a martini. If you want to make coffee, grind the beans. And if you want caffeine, just buy the damn energy drink (or drink that coffee you just made). There’s something unnerving and un-American about having to smoke a bejeweled stick to hype yourself up in the morning.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and is always open into finding new ways to ingest steak. He’s open to suggestions.