Thirsty Thursday: Rye Whiskey And Justin Timberlake's Tequila

Another week, another smattering of the nation's finest literal-thirst-traps assembled conveniently into one article.

After successfully surviving last week's meat-fiasco, known as Thanksgiving, it's time to get back into the swing of things with a couple of bottles that made us feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. It's not too dissimilar from how you felt the first time you heard Starship's "We Built This City." Guys, they built it on rock and roll. 

Few Rye Whiskey—$64.99
This whiskey is a dreamboat. By combining rye, corn, and malted barley from the glorious Midwest and fermenting it with wine yeast from France's Loire Valley, this 46.5% ABV is a testament to international relations. Whisky Advocate named this rye the best craft whiskey of 2013—which is some pretty solid proof that it tastes as good as it looks. The ridiculously tasty ginger and pepper spice accents the warm honey taste and is best served neat. 

Lagunitas Brown Shugga'—$Varied
Fun fact: Brown Shugga' originally started out as a botched batch of Olde GnarlyWine Ale and was only saved through the last minute addition of a (technical) butt-load of brown sugar. This 9.99% ABV American Strong Ale is a sleeper in the sense that you can drink three or four bottles without realizing how hard you've been hit. It's rich, sweet, and our personal favorite brew in the Lagunitas arsenal. 

Ron Abuelo 7 Años—$23.99
You know you're on the right track when it takes you roughly 45 minutes to translate the writing on the bottle. Panama's own 40% ABV Ron Abuelo is fermented from cane molasses and aged for seven years in white oak barrels to ensure a strictly ass-kicking flavor. With every sip of this stuff, you can taste the craftsmanship behind the process—as if 1,000 Panamanian men cried and bled into the barrels. Ron Abuelo has been going hard for over 100 years, so it shouldn't surprise anyone that this stuff is perfect. Ol' Ron is sweet, robust and makes you wince in the way detectives did in old movies when they polished off the last sip of booze. 

Sauza 901—$29.99
You may have heard of Sauza 901's co-founder, a former boy band member named Justin Timberlake. Taking its name after the time "in which the evening ends and the night begins" this 40% ABV tequila certainly gets things going and most certainly has brought sexy back on multiple occasions. It's smooth, too—like a newborn baby's head or the local skating rink after the Zamboni's loving touch. What is it with celebrities and liquor? Can we get Clooney and Timberlake in the same room for a couple of hours? Papa needs a refill. 

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and often spends his nights eating bubble gum and hunting people.