God, what a weird week.
Based off the success of my last Fleshlight article, in which people were actually interested in reading about a 27-year-old man having sex with nine Fleshlights, another pass had to happen. This time, with the company's famed Freaks! line. If you're too afraid to click these very NSFW links—fear not, expository writing exists for a reason.
Fleshlight's Freaks are not unlike their typical fake vaginas...except they've taken the regular product and infused it with horror movie tropes: zombies, vampires, cyborgs. It's like the 1932 horror classic, Freaks, except less: "One of us! One of us! Gooble Gobble!" and more "Ooh la la." Trust me, guys; this is sticking your d*ck in crazy with style.