He has a catchphrase. He has that People cover. He has that statue. And maybe coolest of all, he has cult status. He is also perhaps the most complete actor performing today. He is an American treasure. He may not always make total sense, but rest assured, this man is wise.
What do ya got for us, Matthew?
1. "There's a difference in thinking you are a champion and knowing that you are."
2. "Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius."
3. "There aren't many things that are universally cool, and it's cool not to litter. I'd never do it."
4. "If you want your hair to be thicker, cut it when the moon is about to be full—a heavy, full, waxing moon. Do not cut it when the moon's waning."
5. "I want to be reincarnated as a jaguar. Jaguars are keen and they're perfectly poised. I'd sure love to be that well designed."
6. "I don't want to just revolve. I want to evolve. As a man, as a human, as a father, as a lover."
7. "When someone bestows something on you, no matter how true it is, when someone says, 'Sexiest Man Alive,' I'm honestly going, 'Thank you. Right on.' For me, it's never canceled out anything, it's never made me go, 'Does this make me less talented of an actor?'"
8. "My lawyer has been a good friend of mine for a long time. He and I continuously have conversations."
9. "The best advice comes from people who don't give advice."
10. "Vanity is great motivation, to be fair."
11. "I love taking advantage of my fame. If I go to the airport and get taken to the front of the line, I'm not going to protest. When I show up to see a band and I get whisked backstage, I like it. If I'm offered the use of a private jet, bring it on. But I draw the line at playing the, "Do you know who I am?" card and I refuse to have every little thing done for me. If you buy into all that, it will show up in your acting."
12. "You haven't lived until you've tasted my butt chicken. You get a can of beer and leave half of the liquid inside it. Throw a bunch of spices into the can, then stick that in the chicken and stand it up on the grill. The beer will start to boil and the spices begin to lubricate the chicken. Do it right and nothing on this earth tastes better. No barbecue is complete without it. I cooked it up for Al Pacino while we were making "Two for the Money." He dug it, man. All the proof I need."
13. "It's amazing how quickly you shower when you think there might be a python in your room. Every time I took a bath I got nervous. I'd be washing my hair with my eyes closed and be thinking, "What am I not seeing right now?" With pythons about, you quickly get used to sleeping with one eye open."
14. "Life is a series of commas, not periods."
15. "Cameras aren't guns. They can't really hurt you."
16. "Who needs a house when you can live in a trailer?"
17. "Alright, Alright, Alright."
Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor of Supercompressor. He has a pretty good Matthew impression. But then again, he would write that now, wouldn't he? Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.