We've never put too much stock in the wisdom delivered from regular fortune cookies, so these Misfortune Cookies are a total breath of fresh air... in a grim sort of way. Each cookie is packed with sobering and depressing (albeit realistic) fortunes that will make your day, pretty much, just fine.
Our top pick thus far: "Right now is the best you're ever going to feel. Give up." Yikes. You can surprise your friends with these or crack them open by yourself at home while your flowing tears soften the sweet, sweet cookie shell.
To learn more about Jeremy Glass' favorite depressing things, check out his Twitter or send him a thoughtful telegram.