Gosh, what a day.
Imagine my surprise when I received an empty bottle of Lagavulin Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky with a mysterious rolled-up piece of paper on the inside. Finally being able to live out my fantasy of reenacting a Police song, I aggressively unraveled the document and found a lone URL with the words "You're Welcome, Nick Offerman" underneath. (Nick Offerman, is, of course, the guy who plays Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation.)
After a little bit of light deep-web digging, my love for Ron Swanson and whisky came together before my very eyes with this video.