Weed Chocolate: Now Available In California

Oh, to be a California resident. It must be amazing to wake up early, shred gnar on the beach, cruise down the freeway, and get ripped out of your f**king mind on weed chocolate. Kiva Confections is a company that makes a variety of artisanal chocolates that are absolutely stuffed to the brim with marijuana. 

Made by one of the most prominent medical cannabis companies in the state, these chocolates have totally changed the edibles game with a mission statement promising efficacy, food safety, and business integrity. Their products are stocked in hundreds of dispensaries all over California, which makes for a very compelling case to relocate out west. 

Their pride and joy, the Kiva Bar, comes in six flavors: Vanilla Chai Milk Chocolate, Blackberry Dark Chocolate, Mint Irish Cream Milk Chocolate, Tangerine Dark Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, and Dark Chocolate. These sound amazing enough on their own—adding the element of extreme intoxication after consumption puts wings on baby angels. 

Each bar contains 180 milligrams of THC, which is roughly 45 milligrams per serving. You can exercise self-restraint and eat the bar over a nice, calm weekend—or just dome it all at once and go f**king insane, like Maureen Dowd. 

The cleverly-named Terra Bytes are crafted from micro-roasted Tanzanian coffee beans and coated in Kiva Dark Chocolate. Each one contains about 5 mg of THC, which'll give you just enough of a buzz to appreciate the insanely boring music of The Mars Volta. 

We see these bite-sized Kiva Minis as the ultimate movie treat. Coming in packets of 15 - 45 mg of THC, sneaking in one of these bag boys to the theater can make even the worst movie a friggin' laugh-riot.

Hell, any amount of marijuana can make a movie like Gran Torino worth watching. Seriously, it's the worst movie ever made, yet totally bearable when you're under the influence. Thank you for making awful movies worth watching, Kiva.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and, if you'd like to hear his extended thoughts on Gran Torino, find him on Twitter: @CandyandPizza