Weighing in at a hefty half-pound, this thing isn't just a bottle opener—it's a monument to the importance of opening beer. Solid brass, USA-made, hand-finished, sand-casted, ceramic tumbled, and emblazoned with sweet, sweet reassurance.
Hear that, everyone? Throw away your dinky-ass bottle openers—you just found your new favorite. Because you know what? You did earn it.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and actually writes most of his posts under the influence of something.