We drink...why? Usually to take the edge off, or, in some cases, to fall entirely off the edge and end up with a broken iPhone screen. But before we reach the edge, we're often bored during the "pre-drunk" stage of drinking and watching Law & Order on mute. Now, though, Owen & Fred, the dudes who brought us the Cigar Box Speakers, have released the You Earned It Bottle Openerto give us that validating feeling that we all deserve after (or before) a long work day. Get cracking.
Dreading the Holidays? You Need This Cranberry Sauce Margarita.
Weighing in at a hefty half-pound, this thing isn't just a bottle opener—it's a monument to the importance of opening beer. Solid brass, USA-made, hand-finished, sand-casted, ceramic tumbled, and emblazoned with sweet, sweet reassurance.
Hear that, everyone? Throw away your dinky-ass bottle openers—you just found your new favorite. Because you know what? You did earn it.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and actually writes most of his posts under the influence of something.