Note: Sorry, guys. No one's getting Palcohol anytime soon. The FDA approval was apparently an error. Guess we'll have to keep drinking the old-fashioned way — with our mouths.
Get ready: Powdered alcohol, or Palcohol for those who enjoy a good portmanteau (Google it) now and again, is coming to a liquor store near you. Shockingly not developed by a focus group of Charlie Sheens, the creators behind this crystalline white powder designed to impair your judgement are thinking of this stuff like an upgraded Kool-Aid — except this version of Kool-Aid gets you totally sh*t-housed. OH YEAAAAAAAAHHHH!
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For those who've always hated the insanely inconvenient act of drinking, you'll be happy to know that Palcohol will come in flavors like: Cosmopolitan, Mojito, Lemon Drop, and Powderita — powdered margarita. Just wanted to clarify that last flavor there...
Somehow, Palcohol has been approved by the FDA which is causing everyone to ask what would happen if you stick it up your nose. Long answer? The creators anticipated this problem and have added volume accordingly. You would have to snort about half a cup of powder before you feel anything — and that thing you'd be feeling would probably be pain. Short answer: don't snort it.
Jeremy Glass is the Supercompressor Vice editor and, when it comes down to it, will probably try snorting it.