Lifestyle

Pruno Is The Quintessential Bottled Prison Wine

It's not a total shocker to hear that Pruno originated behind bars. In prison, desperate inmates brew this illegal wine by mixing assorted fruits with ketchup, sugar, milk, and crumbled bread and fermenting it in a toilet. Inmates found with this illegal hooch are immediately punished. Naturally, someone out there thought it would be a great idea to use this recipe to produce bottled prison wine. It comes in two flavors: Orange and Grape. We tried them both. 

You know what's really interesting about Grape Pruno? It tastes like grape. Not grapes, but grape. Like purple Kool-Aid or Flintstone vitamins. It takes you back to the days before you realized that grapes were actually a fruit and not just the physical embodiment of the color purple. 

Orange is equally as medicinal-tasting, but presents the drinker with the additional element of pure visual satisfaction. How often to do you sip a glass of something that's the color of radiation poisoning? It tastes like an orange dipped in tap water from Chernobyl. Do oranges even grow in Russia? Nothing grows in Russia. 


Jeremy Glass has never been to prison and it'll stay that way as long as you meddling kids keep your damn mouths shut.