You're an adult. You drink sensibly, own a cat, and love Serial—we get it. And if the thought of pounding shots of vodka (or homemade fireball in some cases) sends chills up your spine and gives you flashbacks of college, then please allow us to blow your mind just a tiny bit.
From the makers of Das Horn, enter Das Fang: the torchbearers of the barbarian-chic movement that's sweeping the nation.
This Chinese Festival Is Like 'Frozen' Come to Life
One of the questions you might be asking yourself upon purchasing the Das Fang is, "Why am I drinking tequila out of a tacky shot glass when I could be slam-dancing the night away with a fang full of party-juice?" Others might include: "How do I make alcohol more fun?" or "What's a foolproof way to make everyone think I'm literally the son of God?"
Here's at least one answer: Made out of a specially semi-translucent white glass, Das Fang is f*cking awesome in its design and was actually modeled after canine fangs and bovine horns.
The fangs are sold as a saucy quadruplet and each set comes complete with a rubber base to ensure they stay in one piece. Store them wherever you see fit; on your counter, atop the fridge, by your bedside table—we're not the fun police, do what feels right.
Das Fang is dishwasher safe, but may lead to rampant intoxication and potential dirty texts to your ex...but there's an app for that.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and likes his sugar with coffee and cream.