Tactical Bacon For The Bacon-less Apocalypse

When the bomb drops and you find yourself in a Planet of the Apes-type scenario where fur is power and humans are hunted as game, you're going to need a can of Tactical Cooked Bacon to get through your miserable days with those damn dirty apes in power. Each can holds 54 slices to be consumed in times of emergency or before bedtime. 

Boasting a shelf life of ten years, this fully-cooked bacon will keep you satisfied in an emergency and is the perfect accoutrement for bacon-less camping trips, bacon-less hikes, and bacon-less post-apocalyptic simian dictatorships.


Jeremy Glass is the head Vice writer at Supercompressor and often hits up Twitter whenever LiveJournal is down. This scene makes Planet of the Apes his favorite movie in the entire world.