Father's Day. Some see it as a phony holiday dreamt up by the Federal Steak, Beer & Football Committee while others view it as a legitimate day to celebrate the men who've kept all us crazy kids in check—our dads. What do you get the man who taught you how to shave, told you dirty limericks, covered for you when mom was angry, and unloaded streams of obscenities at you in the car?
Well, if he's still as on edge as the time you accidentally set fire to the living room rug, a big ol' bottle of booze should calm him down. Since we love our dads and can all agree that there's nothing better than a glass of whiskey, we hand-picked ten bottles of the brown stuff your pops will undoubtedly go nuts over—not unlike the time you threw a baseball through your bedroom window!
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Price:$46 This is the good stuff from cowboy country. Wyoming Whiskey boasts a clean, moderate body with hints of vanilla, caramel, sweet fruit, and slight oak. It's the finest stuff you've never heard of.
Best For: The Tim Taylor. He grunts while he does stuff and always wears a tool belt around his waist. Has he finished varnishing the table yet? Hell, it doesn't matter and you know it.
The Glenlivet 12-Year-Old
Price:$36 $36 seems almost suspiciously low for such a fine bottle of scotch—but The Glenlivet has had almost 200 years to figure out the process. The name of the game is wood: Glen's 12-year-old bottle boasts notes of marzipan, hazelnut, and pineapple. It's a party in your mouth where everyone's invited...and they're all bringing friends.
Best For: The Frasier Crane-type dad. Refined, courteous, fancy, possibly has an inexplicably popular call-in radio show in Seattle.
Hudson Baby Bourbon Whiskey
Price:$43.99 This award-winning smoked bourbon whiskey has been majorly mellowed out by hints of vanilla and caramel and matured in American oak barrels. The deep amber color makes it as attractive as it is delicious.
Best For: The Homer Simpson-type dad. A man who wants all those flavors in his drooling mouth faster than you can say "d'oh!"
Yamakazi Sherry Cask Single Malt
Price:$1,400 For most, Japan may not be the first country that comes to mind when whisky in mentioned...but Yamakazi will change the way you look at the spirit with this masterfully created single malt. It's utterly perfect and well worth the exorbitant price. This is the kind of gift your dad won't forget—unless he's adept at feigning dementia or drinking the whole bottle in a sitting while still recycling the empty.
Best For: The Jack Donaghy type. He wears a tuxedo simply because it's after six and that's what is done.
Price: $200 Do you care about your dad? Does he deserve nice things? If you've answered yes to any of the prior questions, shell out the extra bucks for the Sonoma-Cutrer. It's a warm and robust whiskey with notes of cherry, raspberry, and blackberry while a crisp spiciness brings up the rear. Truly magnificent.
Best For: The Sandy Cohen type. He grew up in a blue-collar family and now spends his days making sure no one else has to go through the life he lived. He deserves to a treat—especially if his eyebrows are half as dynamite at Sandy's.
Laphroaig 10 Year Old
Price:$56 John Campbell, the distillery manager at Laphroaig, calls this stuff "a big peaty slap in the face" and we can't help but agree. This stuff is old school, too— it's a full-bodied all-malt Scotch for the veteran Scotch drinker. Look how it sparkles, just look.
Best For: The Mike Brady type. Wholesome on the outside, a goddamn bone-crusher on the inside. You don't have six kids by sitting around with your thumb jammed up your ass.
The Macallan Rare Cask
Price:$299 The first thing you'll notice about the taste is a distinct sweetness that gives you that bourbon-vibe without the heaviness—that can be attributed to its time spent within the confines of former sherry barrels. The raisin, citrus, and ginger notes are subtle, but still commanding enough to make you sit back in your leather chair and go, "hot damn, that's a fine-ass scotch!"
Best For: The Tony Soprano type: a man who wants nice things and may send a few people to the bottom of the sea if he doesn't get them.
Jack Daniel's Single Barrel Select
Price:$45 This stuff is unlike any other bottle of JD you've seen before. Complex, creamy, and robust. It looks like fancy, because it is fancy. Each barrel is hand-selected and bottled up only to be sipped by the guys out there who call this stuff Jack.
Best For: Mike from Breaking Bad. Or the actor who plays Mike, for that matter, both are equally intense.
Price: $40 There's undoubtedly a sense of mystery with Johnnie Walker's Double Black bottle. It's smoky—smokier than its predecessor—but not without that signature spicy Johnnie taste that makes it stand up to whatever crap you drank before.
Best For: The Carl Winslow type. (Or the Sgt. Al Powell type!) Tough, no-nonsense, but someone you can really snuggle up to.
Koval Single Barrel Bourbon Whiskey
Price:$50 Koval is relatively new on the scene, but they're already proving themselves to be an instant classic. An exotic flavor brigade sends notes of mango chutney marching down your throat while apricot custard, peppery caramel, a clove-spiked tobacco straight chills out on your tongue. You've never tasted a bourbon like this before.
Best For: The Walter White type...because this is the kind of stuff that'll get you hooked.
Jeremy Glass is a writer for Supercompressor and he's getting his dad a pony for Father's Day probably.