Another week, another 10,080 minutes of totally responsible imbibing. Last time, we covered some of our favorite bottles of booze—and simultaneously found out that Versace Disaronno is, in fact, a thing. Well, seven days have passed and it's time for another round of Thirsty Thursday. Take a sip, people; you're getting the good stuff.
Berentzen Apple Liqueur—$21.99
When you're handed a basket full of booze that's literally surrounded by red apples, you're going to be more inclined to pay attention. Our good friends at Berentzen—makers of Bushel & Barrel and Icemint Schnapps—brought over a ton of good stuff for us to swill and the shining star was their 20% ABV Apple Liqueur. You know how most liqueurs taste overwhelmingly sweet? This stuff straddles the line between apple juice and bourbon—not too sweet and not too stiff—sort of like that homemade Fireball we made once. Heh. Stiff.
Bowmore Small Batch Single Malt Scotch Whisky—$39.99
Bowmore sums it up pretty nicely themselves: "Good things come in small batches" and we couldn't agree more. This peated whisky was matured in not one, but two ex-bourbon casks and, like the above photo suggests, goes well with cold ocean water. Wait, what? No. Realistically, you should sip this 40% ABV Scotch next to a warm fire and on top of a bear-skin rug. Salt, citrus, and vanilla hits the palate and takes your tongue on a wild joyride throughout Tasteville, USA and that's a trip you want to savor.
Dead Bolt Wine—$15.99
You know how you were always taught to never judge a book by its cover? Well f*ck that noise, judge away. We've seen a lot of the whole artist-meets-alcohol scene—but this label, designed by tattoo legend David Hale, is really something. The bottle falls somewhere between the wet dream of Tim Burton and Hot Topic, and it's definitely memorable. Red wine is a tough one—sometimes the stuff tastes like liquid metal infused with a huge hangover—but this 13.5% red is tasty. Sweet, full, robust, Tim Burton-ish.
Woodford Reserve Sonoma-Cutrer Pinot Noir Finish—$99.99
Woodford Reserve knows how to do their bourbon right, that's for damn sure. It's the kind of bourbon that makes you feel like a real man—the kind of man who wears leather, cuts down trees, and solemnly weeps after he shoots a deer. A spicy, oaky, fruity taste is attained after aging this 45.2% ABV bourbon in Burgundian-style Pinot Noir barrels. It's the Dr. Pepper of bourbons in the sense that you can't quite put a finger on the flavor, but it's something you don't want to put down and that's just fine in our books.
You can't not feel like a pirate while drinking a rum called "Privateer." You've got your two basic flavors of Privateer True American Amber and Privateer Silver Preserve—with the latter tasting like apple blossom, star fruit, black vanilla bean, and cinnamon. Star fruit? Really? Hell yes. These 40% ABV bottles are heavy duty and, most importantly, all natural with a distillation process that takes molasses, sugar cane juice crystals, and brown sugar and turns it into something real special. Just try saying "Privateer" in a pirate voice. You'll never want to stop.