No Wait — This Is The Manliest Bottle Opener Ever

The Drinique Knuckle Bottle Opener has stolen the title from the previous competitor to become the manliest friggin' bottle opener in existence! Made in America, crafted from aircraft grade billet aluminum, and shaped like a pair of brass knuckles, this thing could seriously ruin some lives if placed in the wrong hands. Literally in the wrong hands. Even though "Drinique" sounds like the coked-up girlfriend of a juiced-up dude in a Staten Island night club, we think this piece of barware has appropriately earned the title of manliest bottle opener ever. It's what Porfirio Rubirosa would have used if beer bottles didn't un-cap themselves in his presence. 

When Jeremy Glass isn't busy writing for Supercompressor, he's cross-stitching pictures of his own face for fun. It's not that fun.