Yep, An Erotic Carp Calendar Actually Exists

Alright humanity, time to pack it in. You had a nice run. 

Uh-huh, what you're looking at is exactly what you think it is: an erotic carp-themed calendar, the perfect gift to ring in 2015 that absolutely no one asked for. 

Officially dubbed Erotischer Karpfenkalender 2015, this inexplicable undertaking is brought to you by Carponizer, a hunting and fishing gear company based in Germany.

It's true, someone out there sincerely thinks the concept of scantily clad women posing with large, freshwater fish is legitimately arousing. Here's hoping you never have to meet this person.

The seller describes their product as follows, "The Carponizer Carp Calendar is a treat for the men’s heart beat faster." Okay.

But hey, if you're into this sort of thing, this very confusing calendar can be yours for the fair price of $23.54.

Who doesn't want their carp with a side of side-boob?

Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. She's a little insulted she wasn't invited to pose for this. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.