Gentlemen, meet the AlphaOne Ring

If you're thinking to yourself, "Hey, that looks like something I could stick my Johnson in," then today is your lucky day. Claiming to be the "Executive" male masturbator, the AlphaOne Ring, available in 24k gold, stainless steel, and ultra lightweight aircraft grade aluminum, promises to put a high end twist on an age old past time physical necessity.

While the gold option will set you back north of $400, you can squeeze in the back door for $160 if you opt for the hand-polished (!) aluminum version. Whichever finish you choose, rest safe knowing that the super soft silicone rubber does a hell of a job replicating certain aspects of the human anatomy.

The lovely girls at AhaNoir (one of the only places you'll find it in the U.S.) emphasized that it can be used with a partner or alone, if necessary. After spending a weekend with the puck sized device, we can confirm that both of these situations are indeed viable.

Ted Gushue is the Executive Editor of Supercompressor... and also a Libra, ladies...