The 50 Most Uncomfortable Places To Sit In The World
Ugh, sitting. Right, guys? If this list doesn't resonate with you, then you should really start sitting more. Or sitting less? Sitting sucks, read this list or we're going to come to your house and chop off your legs.
Winston Churchill once said, "Why stand when you can sit?" Well, Mr. Winston, here are 50 reasons why your advice is total horsesh*t.
50. On an airplane, between someone who's afraid of flying and someone who's even more afraid of flying.
49. In front of your boss, so your computer screen is in their direct eye-line.
48. Anywhere on the Fung Wah Bus before it was shut down by the US Government.
47. The middle seat of every model car ever made.
46. Next to your co-worker's new girlfriend, neither of whom you know particularly well.
45. On a barstool, next to an acquaintance at his going away party.
44. Diagonally across from your significant other on a crowded bus. Bonus if it's on a Fung Wah Bus.
43. In the middle of a company-wide lecture on sexual harassment after a particularly large meal of rice and beans and an unexpected fear-boner.
42. Between two people who haven't seen each other in a long time and are trying to playing catch-up.
41. On a large boat during bad weather.
40. On an emergency lifeboat during good weather.
39. On a roller coaster with someone who's easily startled and nauseated by fast speeds.
37. Next to your parents during the sex scene in 8 Mile.
36. In a warm car seat when you have the flu.
35. Underneath a dripping air-conditioner in the shade during a hot summer day after you've just unwrapped a tuna sandwich.
34. Next to Justin Bieber at a basketball game or, really, in any other situation ever.
33. In a wayward Wienermobile that has had its brakes cut by a rival hot dog company.
32. Between the sweaty, perky breasts of a seven-foot-tall woman who's intent on tearing apart New York City with her enormous feet.
31. Next to a mariachi band on the subway.
30. Directly across from someone you chatted up on Tinder, but later deemed "undateable" and stopped talking to.
29. On the beach—after you realized nudity is encouraged and practiced by the elderly.
28. The bastard chair at the end of a booth at a diner.
27. In a rickshaw.
26. Those little benches inside the changing room of a gym.
25. A crowded sauna with your girlfriend's juiced-up ex-boyfriend.
24. Anywhere in Boston after the Red Sox have lost or won a game or were rained out.
23. Next to anyone whose nationality you just publicly mocked. Bonus if it's on a Fung Wah Bus.
22. On one of those bar stools that you think is going to spin around 360 degrees, but stops halfway, leaving you in purgatory.
21. A McDonald's anytime after breakfast and before 2 a.m.
20. Trapped inside the confines of a Power Wheels after age 10.
19. Next to your mom after you receive a nude text.
18. That corner table with the wobbly leg.
17. Inside of a shark. Unless it's a whale shark.
16. On the ground, after you've fallen out of your chair from leaning too far back.
15. In a hammock while a sweaty guy lies in a larger hammock slightly above you during a particularly warm summer day.
14. Next to anyone who sports a John Waters mustache without being John Waters.
13. In the chair of a talkative barber when you're already running late. Bonus if you have to poop.
12. In the demo chair of one of those mall kiosks that sells you moisturizer made of salt from the Dead Sea.
11. In the middle of a planetarium after you've just finished a Big Gulp of soda.
10. At the bottom of a well after falling inside said well.
9. On one of those plastic folding chairs that buckles under the slightest amount of weight.
8. On the floor of a stalled elevator as the woman next to you gives birth.
7. Next to the CEO in the stall.
6. At the bottom of a ball pit after someone's kid has puked in there.
5. Near your talkative relative's talkative child at a family reunion.
4. On a park bench covered in fire ants and suspiciously wrinkled copies of Nickelodeon Magazine.
3. Any buffet in the Midwest.
2. At a restaurant, next to someone whose birthday is on the same day as yours, but they're the one getting sung to by the staff. Bonus if it's at a Chili's.
1. Next to a Dr. Who fan at a Dr. Who convention. Seriously, that show sucks.