6. At the bottom of a ball pit after someone's kid has puked in there.
5. Near your talkative relative's talkative child at a family reunion.
4. On a park bench covered in fire ants and suspiciously wrinkled copies of Nickelodeon Magazine.
3. Any buffet in the Midwest.
2. At a restaurant, next to someone whose birthday is on the same day as yours, but they're the one getting sung to by the staff. Bonus if it's at a Chili's.
1. Next to a Dr. Who fan at a Dr. Who convention. Seriously, that show sucks.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and 90 percent of these situations have happened to him.