Lifestyle

The Sex Toy For Rich Douchebags

No one asked for it, but the folks at Lelo have decided there's just not enough douchebaggery in this world and therefore designed a sex toy exclusively for the most self-satisfied tool. Meet Pino, the "couples ring" developed specifically for bankers and other reprehensibly wealthy power players who have apparently demanded newer, more inventive ways to get their rocks off. Okay.

Pino comes wrapped up in a package (see above) that includes cuff links and a money clip for all your fat bills, with "Always Be Closing" engraved on both. Clearly an important mantra in both the bedroom and boardroom.

The toy itself is a fairly creative take on your standard uh, ring. The unique ridge and soft, silicone construction, when paired with its 10-speed vibrations, might actually get your stock rising.

Well, you can't really argue with that. Grab a Pino for $159, unless you're a ghastly member of the working class, in which case, go back under whatever rock you crawled out from. You make me sick.


Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. Nope. Nope. Nope. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.