Finally, The Coffee Mug Weed Pipe

Okay, who the hell  has been reading my super-secret Hanukkah wish-list? Because there's no way the Pipemug could have come to fruition without my doing. On that note, I'm suing this company for thought-crime—that's right, just like Inception. This thing is the cronut of coffee vessels; the perfect pairing of America's two favorite vices in one. Coffee and weed, together at last. So, how does it work? Hop aboard the pleasure train; we're headed to Wakeville with a brief stop in Bakeville.

See what I did there? 

The design is fabulously simple—heck, even a baby kitten could do it! The beauty of the Pipemug is the hollow handle, which allows "tobacco" smoke to pass from the external bowl to the mouthpiece in the handle—and yes, there's even a carb on the side...ya know...to let your tobacco breathe.

Coming in 10 different shapes and sizes, each Pipemug is handcrafted and made to order. Yes sir, every single Pipemug is as unique and beautiful as a fingerprint—or a snowflake during the type of winter storm that forces hard-working Americans to stay home and blaze all day. 

In case you're wondering, yes, you can absolutely smoke and drink out of this thing at the same time. They're dishwasher and microwave safe, and hold up to 12 fluid ounces of coffee (or whatever) on average. Hey—here's to feeling good all the time.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and wants to be a high-profile rug dealer. Every kind of rug you want for incredibly low prices.