Johnny Depp Would Drink This Rum

Let's make something clear: we're not talking about the 1993 What's Eating Gilbert Grape fresh-faced, floppy-haired Johnny Depp. Rumbullion! (exclamation point not a typo) is strictly for the smarmy Keith Richards-wannabe early 2000s Johnny Depp; a.k.a, Captain Jack Sparrow, the one who staggered onscreen in Pirates of the Caribbean and just...never really stopped staggering. 

Each bottle of this high-proof, 42.6% ABV Caribbean rum comes wrapped in old-timey brown paper and is sealed with twine and wax to deliver the vibe that everybody once tried to imitate back before we learned that most pirates suffered from rickets and syphilis.

Hints of cinnamon, cloves, and cardamom hit your mouth with every sip (or swig) of this vanilla and orange-infused, full-bodied spirit. Rumbullion! will put hair on your chest and a parrot on your shoulder.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and was a pirate until he was caught downloading a car. For more information on that, consult his twitter: @CandyandPizza