Two weeks after I signed up, I received four of these pill boxes chock full of a bespoke mixture of mood-enhancing natural drugs. They were separated into daily doses with seven pills for each day. My main issue were a lack of energy, concern about body weight, and militant devotion to my penis.
I asked my specialist to send me a list of exactly what I was putting in my body and she told me. (Keep in mind I asked all of this after my month was over. Smart.)
Multivitamin: To help improve digestion and aid in the absorption of nutrients. I inquired if there was anything in the multivitamin that could lead to me gaining the skill to regrow fingers. No response yet.
Fish Oil: Sustains healthy cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and heartbeat. I inquired how many fish were senselessly murdered for their precious oil. No response yet.
Digestive Enzyme: Known for their immune-boosting abilities, I assumed these enzymes could potentially fight off disease like mononucleosis. I called my friend Caitlyn from Connecticut, who got mono in ninth grade (and then gave it to me) and asked if she wanted to share a soda with me. No response yet.
CoQ-10: A fat-soluble, vitamin-like compound that supports healthy heart function and cellular energy production. Factors such as aging, genetic makeup, and cholesterol-lowering statins can result in a CoQ10 deficiency. In Layman's terms, I will forever be 27 years old.
5-HTP: A sleep aid.
Lutein: Helps maintain focus and color differentiation within the eye. I didn't have to inquire about gaining the ability to see in the dark, because I knew it would happen.
Fenugreek: Also known as Greek Hay, Fenugreek is an herb originally found in Asia and
the Mediterranean that have been traditionally used for metabolic assistance. My hopes were that I could eat Taco Bell for every meal of the day and feel fit as a bean-filled fiddle.