I Used A Sodastream To Carbonate 6 Bottles of Booze...For Science

I mean, this is it, people. Forget gourmet soda and seltzer water, this is the reason why the SodaStream exists. After seeing this thunderous success (well, disaster) on YouTube, I recently dipped into my vast collection of liquor bottles from the boozy coffin encompassing my desk and used a newly-acquired SodaStream to make delicious carbonated beverages.

In the early afternoon hours—positively high on power and carbon dioxide—I tasted each and every kind of sparkly-booze I could procure. Presented to you, with unabashed honesty and tipsiness, are my findings.

1. Whiskey 

Did it work? Yes. 
Taste: Whiskey, among my collection of booze bottles, worked the best with the SodaStream. It was as if a foxy bartender had taken the finest bottle of top-ish whiskey from the bar and mixed it with a lovely dash of sparkling water. It was refreshing, light, and tasty...which probably explains why I'm legitimately tipsy at the moment.

2. Gin 

Did it work? Yes.
Taste: Call me an old-fashioned hipster doofus, but I think gin is making a huge comeback. Juniper is an un-killable taste—the Clark Kent of gustation. Sipping the carbonated concoction did, however, make me yearn for a secondary mixer—something like a splash of lemonade would have made my tongue sh*t its pants.

3. Rum 

Did it work? No. 
Taste: It took me one failed attempt to realize you really shouldn't carbonate a SodaStream bottle of pure alcohol. When it comes down to it, rum is just too heavy and can't hold the bubbles the way other alcohols—mixed with water—did. The rum + CO2 cocktail tasted dull...as if my Sailor Jerry had been mixed with old club soda that had been sitting in the sun. That's not how you treat a sailor. 

4. Tequila 

Did it work? No. 
Taste: Whether it's a bottle of Clooney's best or a bottle of the bottom-shelf stuff you have stowed away in your closet, tequila just doesn't work when mixed with bubbles. There's something about this particular spirit that deserves to be sipped as the makers intended: either over ice or from a shot glass in a loud bar at the end of the night. 

5. White wine

Did it work? Yes. 
Taste: I mean, I'm basically a magician, because I just made champagne out of white wine. And you know how champagne tastes? Delicious—especially after taste-testing all that liquor beforehand. 

6. Vodka 

Did it work? Yes. 
Taste: As opposed to tequila, I think vodka is one of the finest drinks to mix with other liquids, provided those liquids aren't of the diet soda variety. After applying a light amount of CO2 by gingerly pushing on the SodaStream, I concocted a lightly-carbonated beverage that was as simple to make as it was easy on the palate.

Another experiment made possible with the power of carbon dioxide and, of course, the power of love. We'll muster enough courage to do red wine some other time. Mouth happy. And office intact.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and, true story, used to own a Sodastream until his ex-girlfriend stole it.

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