Lather up with Absinthe

Because it's a "non-hallucinogenic skin hydrant," slathering your skin with Wormwood Absinthium Cream probably isn't going to send you into a magical fairy world where you can astral-project to different dimensions and talk to bears. It will, however, hydrate your face and leave you with hints of absinthe, marjoram, and lavender — so you can finally smell of your favorite nineteenth century hallucinogen without the painful hangover/urge to cut your own ear off.