Why did you even get out of bed this morning? You may think you have everything you need: a good job, a nice house, a cool haircut — but you know what? It doesn't matter. You don't have a Lucky Golden Poo. So your life means exactly what this totem symbolizes: sh*t. Luxuriously draped in 24 karat gold and polished to perfection, the poo's origins are deep-rooted in Japanese folklore. The Golden Poo is known as Kin no Unko, a pun using the Japanese words for "poop" and "luck." No matter how you put it, this golden poo belongs on your body. It's tiny, shiny, devoid of pungent odor, and sure to bring you good fortune. Believe the poop-hype.
Jeremy Glass is a believer. Follow his beliefs on Twitter: @CandyandPizza.