What are you doing tonight? Really? That's kind of disturbing, and it might not even be legal. Instead, maybe you should check out Watchmen, available even as we speak on Comcast Video On-Demand. It's true. The big-screen adaptation of the graphic novel TIME called one of the 100 greatest novels ever, period, is now available for your shameless home-viewing pleasure. Now you can catch the apocalyptic adventures of Ozymandias, Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, The Comedian, Rorschach, and Dr. Manhattan, even if you're dressed like Dr. Manhattan (naked, and blue). Look, as everyone knows, in an alternate America where superheroes are murdered and Richard Nixon is still president, the only safe place is your couch, trembling under your wooby. So order up Watchmen tonight. And stop doing that other thing, because it's just not normal.